One of the promises that we made when we started the journey as a couple was along the line of “I will be good to you.” And for those who are married, there is always the element of “in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, till death do us part” in the vow.
Many forget that the “bad time” is not restricted to external circumstances like losing a job or being ill. When there is an emotional disconnection or loneliness in the marriage, that counts as “bad time” as well. Or when our partner or us has failed to live up to certain expectations and broke many promises.
What can we do to uphold our promises and commitment to each other?
For the married:
1. Remember what makes you fall in love with each other. What attracted you to your partner? What attracted him or her to you? What was the dream that you had as you said, “I do”? Affirm and remind each other.
2. Make a good and sincere apology for the times when you have not make each other a priority. The best apology is a changed behaviour.
3. Renew your promise. Everyday, we have the opportunity to make that decision to love our partner again. Love is a decision. Once you have made that choice, your behaviour flows from it. What will make your partner feel loved and cherished again? Do that small thing, consistently.
Valentine’s Day is a great day to express and renew that love. However, if you behaved thoughtlessly the rest of the year, that’s not going to work! Small gestures often that are done consistently will be a better bet.
A resilient and lasting relationship is one that keeps growing, where each partner is motivated to be better because of the love he/she has for the partner.
Have a beautiful Valentine’s Day!