My dearest darling Olivia,
You are gonna be ONE tomorrow. What a monumental milestone for you and for us.
This has been such a momentous year filled with a myriad of feelings; from being overwhelmed to overjoyed and everything in between.
From the time mama first held you, I have fallen in love with you. Each day as I get to know you better, my love and admiration for you increases.
Mama learns so much from you; how you work really hard at learning new skills and hitting developmental milestones; how sweet and sensitive you are to the people around you; how you always manage to charm and capture the heart of those who meet you for the first time, how resilient and adaptable you are and most of all how curious, open and calm you are by nature.
When you smile or laugh, it is simply infectious. You truly laugh from your heart.
When you manage to learn a new skill, we explode with joy upon seeing that look of accomplishment on your face.
When you struggle and work so hard at perfecting the skill, it reminds mama to also be patient and keep trying and be better as well.
Who would have thought that a baby who is not even one is capable of being such a great teacher?
I thank God for the gift of you every single day. As you turn in for the night, I will spend some time simply looking at your beautiful face sleeping. In the silent of my heart, I whisper a big thank you to God for bring you into our lives. I feel extremely honoured and humbled that God has chosen me to be your mama.
I like to think that I must have done something good in my life that God brought you into my life. Upon deeper reflection, I realise that I was wrong. I haven't done anything to deserve you. God decides that I need you in my life so that I can continue to grow as a person and in particular as your mother.
To be called your mother is my greatest privillege, my darling baby.
To witness the dramatic changes from the teeny baby that you were at birth to the active, joyful and curious baby that you are today is nothing short of amazing.
Yet, there were times when mama felt overwhelmed and failed you. Mama has been impatient and careless and that led you to suffer quite unnecessarily. For that, I am truly sorry.
Still, when you look at me with such deep love I firmly believe that God has chosen you to show me what unconditional love is like.
Thank you baby for loving me so, despite my imperfection and shortcomings.
What a marvelous year this has been. The fond memories from your first year will be forever etched in my heart.
So my darling Olivia, mama's wish for you is that you will never lose your sense of identity as the beloved child of God. Continue to have the courage to explore the world and discover who you are and who you want to be. You have shown yourself to be such a strong fighter and I know there is so much more in you that are still hidden, waiting to be nurtured and honed.
Know that mama and papa will always be here for you through every season of your life. We will walk with you to the highest height and the lowest pit, praying that we will have the wisdom, patience and grace to guide you along the way.
Happy first birthday my sweetest child. May God continue to bless you with good health, wisdom and grace. You are so so loved. Never ever forget how important and precious you are to us.
- Letter to Olivia: Your birth story
- Letter to Olivia: The first three months
- Letter to Olivia: The glorious months