“Lost is a place, too.”

Throughout my years of searching for success, I’ve met with many generous souls along the way. But there’s no one quite like failure. Today I am expressing my gratitude for what failure has taught me by sharing my story through Calm Collective Asia.

This was my neighbourhood in the Bay Area of California when I was living as a trailing spouse for about 5.5 years. I loved going for long walks where I slowed down and smelled the roses.

Outwardly, I was living a charmed life; going to places, travelling and having the greatest fun of my life. To be fair, I did enjoy my life and I still consider it one of the best periods of my life with my husband.

What many didn't know was the displacement and sense of lost that I felt on a daily basis when I was alone. For about 2 years, I felt very lost with regards to my career. At that point in time, I had just undergone two brain surgeries, recovering from a #stroke, gotten married, quit my job and relocated to a new country, all within the span of 1 year.

My life was pretty isolated. My visa didn’t permit me to have a paid work. Because of my stroke, I couldn’t drive and I lived in a suburb where majority of people drove which meant that the public transport wasn't great. This was before the explosion of ride-sharing.

I was stuck at home, alone with my thoughts; and the demons created a lot of  self-doubt. I couldn’t let go of the narrow definition of success. I knew that I was smart and yet there was no proof of it.

I was without a paid job, direction and identity. My husband and I wanted to have a baby and every month it was only heartbreak and disappointment. I applied for a Master program in Applied Positive Psychology and it was also rejected. All the doors that I knocked closed on me.

My morale was at an all-time low.

I started to curate my own learning and attended conferences within the field of #psychotherapy, lectures at #Stanford and #Berkeley and I read a lot. I decided that I can be a thought leader, combining my love of learning, writing and sharing. That's when I started my site- Winifred & You: Flourishing Together in 2011, exactly 10 years ago.

How did I #redefine my failure?
💙 It is okay to be lost.
💙 I accepted that there are seasons in life where I may not be creating impact in a big way. It is okay to be faithful to the small and mundane things in life.
💙 I decided that my self-worth is not dependent on what I do and how much money I have.
💙 I focused on doing what is meaningful to me.
💙 I know I can always bounce back.
I am grateful for the lessons that this failure have taught me. I become a wiser, more compassionate and understanding as a result.

The #RedefiningFailure campaign will be running between 11 - 15 October.  Come take part in this campaign and share your story. Tag #RedefiningFailure #CalmCollectiveAsia in your post. 



#selfdiscovery #flourishinglife #resilience #positivepsychology #adversity