Anytime Resolution - As the name suggests, it is a resolution that can be taken up anytime when you feel the need and are ready for a change. I hope to provide you with some useful suggestions that will bring you closer to living a more flourishing life in various aspects.
Today's Anytime Resolution is to embrace adversity whenever it happens in order to grow your strength muscle.
As I reflected upon my own life, it occurs to me that I am who I am today because of all the challanges and difficulties that I have gone through in my life.
In the past 15 years, I have gone through the following setbacks and life stressors:
- mum's multiple surgeries ranging from knee surgery to spine decompression. Just last week, she had a fall and had to undergo a hip surgery.
- both dad and elder brother had gone through heart bypass operation.
- death of dad ten years ago.
- going through the treatment for Moyamoya Disease and brain bypass surgeries.
- suffering major stroke and the painful process of rehabilitation.
- dealing with family feud due to severe misunderstanding
- loss of identity and direction when I became a trailing spouse.
- challenges and roadblock in early stages of marriage
- involved in a handful of road traffic accidents, burglary, and stolen purse.
- application to a graduate program was rejected
As a consequence of all these adversities, my muscles in handling and coping with crises had been strengthened over the years. Today, I have full confidence that I can handle all sorts of life challenges because of what I had gone through.
To be sure, I don't actively seek them out. There is no need to do so because no one is spared from the pain and darkness in life. But when adversity presents itself, it's worthwhile to remember that our reaction and response can determine the kind of person we will become.
Just as we can train our muscles to be stronger by exercising consistently at the gym, so can we do the same thing to our character and habits. The following quote expresses this neatly:
"Courage is like a habit, a virtue: you get it by courageous acts. It's like you learn to swim by swimming. You learn courage by couraging."
~ Mary Daly, a theologian from the book, The Gift of Imperfection.
In another example, Dr. Rick Hanson articulates the same principle in his book, Just One Thing, with the following:
“...neurons that fire together, wire together,” each time you do a practice, it strengthens key neural circuits like building a muscle in the gym.
Truly, there are times when we do not have control over what happens in our life. The good news is we always do have a choice in how we want to respond. The moment that we accept the troubles in our lives, a door will be opened that gives a glimpse of who we really are, what we are capable of doing and being. Deep within, we are all survivors.
Today, I can share this message with full conviction only because I have been through all the different challenges triumphantly. Was it hard and painful? Of course! It is hard too when we try to build stronger muscles. It is the same process.
Therefore, when the next adversity shows up my hope is that you will remember this resolution to embrace adversity, rather than resisting it. Your muscles for affliction will be strengthened and you will be a much stronger person as a result. I know because I speak from experience.
Sharing is caring. Please feel free to share this post with your friends or family especially if you know of someone who is facing trial and tribulation right now. Thank you.
- Treat your spouse as you would your best friend.
- Create your own personal commandments
- Identify and nurture your tribe
- Cultivate and practice self-compassion
- Choose outdoor and nature
- Contact your friend
- Try one thing new and novel
- Savour more
- Aim for 5:1
- Fake it
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